NO child should have to endure such pain and suffering as ANY of these children did, but unfortunately we live in a depraved and fallen world. I was so moved by her story that I had to encourage her in truth; not just for her brokenness but for healing from unforgiveness (like who wouldn't have issues there after a life like this) and ultimately for her FREEDOM!
With that, it lead to a discussion for her to explore the "open door" of unforgiveness. With all the accusations and pressures she endured, I can't help but think that she would have had to make some "vows" to herself just to comfort her situation and to bring herself hope. Vows are promises we make in conversation to ourselves. Things like, "I will never let this or that happen to him or her or me again." We are NOT God so we don't have the authority to "promise" such things even though we are trying to be good-intentioned. Make sense?
When we make these vows we open up doors to demonic access. The devil waltzes into our life because of our "judgements" through these "open doors" because we don't have authority to judge. ONLY God has this authority; even though it is totally understandable how a child would process through this situation to make such conclusions. These conclusions or judgements will bring about MUCH pain and suffering later in our life, even bringing torment because none of us have been given the right to "judge" another; even when that person is WRONG! It doesn't matter if you were in Christ at the time or not, devils gain permission wherever they can. They are the ultimate legalistic operators in creation and when we judge, they RUN and shove to get in that "open door" to our soul!
One thing I have noticed is that when dealing with adult Christians, they "think" they are in forgiveness because everything is "under the blood" - right? Well, unforgiveness can look differently than you are thinking as well. To be in unforgiveness we usually think about us with others. Things like, "They hurt me and I choose to forgive them". But there is another side to unforgiveness many don't think about, explore or even are aware of.
One side of this situation is that you could be dealing with forgiving yourself for "causing" a problem, a situation, an issue Like in the cause of the woman above; the issues with this brother and his trauma (even though it was NOT HER FAULT (the mother caused this consequence), she was being blamed for trying to save these kiddos because NO ONE was properly protecting their family!) So she could be dealing with having to "forgive" herself.
Unforgiveness can even be directed at God. It looks like this, "Why would a loving God let me suffer?" Or "Where were you God?" And even "If God really loved me..." These type of thoughts can plant the seeds of unforgiveness as we are "mad" at God for His role in the situation.
Again, I want to make clear that Satan is the MASTER deceiver and he KNOWS the ways to trip us up. This woman was just as much a victim as her siblings were and just as she had to deal with understanding her brothers "reaction" because he didn't "understand" the BIG picture, she also had the same experience with God. She didn't like her brother's response and yet she may have done the same thing in her heart toward God as he did. Do you see that? It is again TOTALLY UNDERSTANDING and I am not judging peoples reactions here but I want you to see that we need to explore this area in our hearts if we want to get totally free from ANY open door the devil may have had in our lives.
When I lived in Minnesota growing up, I constantly heard my dad say, "shut the door" when I came in during the winter (to keep the heat in and the cold out) and in the summer (to keep the air conditioning in and the heat out). It's the same principal. When we are in unforgiveness, the door is open and things that should be in, slip out (forgiveness, love, grace) and things that should be out, come in (bitterness, anger, unforgiveness).
What helps me with dealing with unforgiveness in my life (because we ALL have to deal with it at some level) is this: "With the measure YOU use, it will be measured back to you." Luke 6:38. People usually think of this verse when it comes to the giving of money but the Word here just says "GIVE" it doesn't say WHAT we are giving. Read it, start a few lines before and think about forgiveness as you read it.
To whom MUCH is given (salvation is a MUCH), MUCH is required (the extending of much grace). There is a standard set here and many don't like to see the personal responsibility that has been given to us by the Lord. There are several other verses that prompts me to forgive too like John 20:23 but the REAL kicker is Matthew 6:14 - here it is in The Message (MSG):
14-15"In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part.
Yeah, that one pretty much changed my approach with me dealing with MY own unforgiveness. There is a correlation between our sowing and our reaping that many "believers" don't want to believe because we focus on the "gift" of salvation and we think it is "free AND easy". Oh it is FREE - it has been given to us without question but we have to do ALL that the Word says too and that is NOT always EASY - but SO WORTH IT!
There is nothing like FREEDOM! I ask myself this question, "How many of MY sins do I want forgiven?" Well of course I want ALL my sins washed away - right! So that is the number that I have to extend to others...ALL! Lord Jesus, help me to WALK in your truth; to DO the Word and not just be a hearer only! AMEN!
