Monday, January 24, 2011

Protecting Our Daughters

The information I am going to address here is how to prevent the sexualization of our daughters in this over sexually stimulated society.  As you know, I have three blogs; one deals with random things, another with political issues and then this one, the one that addresses spiritual issues.  Why am I addressing the sexualization of our daughters here, you ask?  Well, because this is a spiritual issue.  The culture is dictating to the parents more and more and we need to take back our parental controls.  We need to begin to intercede on the "education" that our daughters are receiving from the news media, television, Hollywood...pretty much anywhere and everywhere these days.  This darkness is spiritual in nature and is attaching to our children before they are old enough to even think for themselves.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA) there is a "new" discovery being reported that there is a proliferation of sexualization that girls and young women are exposed to and that this exposure in advertising, merchandising and media is harmful to girls' self-image and healthy development.  Really?  Ya think?  We needed the APA to issue a report for parents to sit up and take notice?  They reported that this sexualization is linked to common mental health issues such as eating disorders, low self-esteem and depression.   (To read more about this go to: Sexualization of Girls by the APA).

A task force of the APA defined sexualization as occurring when a person's value comes only from her/his sexual appeal or behavior, to the exclusion of other characteristics.  They went on to say that this sexualization comes from all forms of media including visual media and other forms such as music, lyrics, video games, magazines, and even toys like the Bratz dolls which are popular with young girls.  Parents, siblings and friends can also influence the attitudes of girls sexualization.

This battle is so worth fighting for our daughters because of the:
a. cognitive and emotional consequences - it undermines a person's confidence in and comfort with her own body, leading to emotional and self-image problems such as shame and anxiety.
b. mental and physical health - research links sexualization with three of the most common mental health problems diagnosed in girls and women; eating disorders, low self-esteem and depression or depressed moods.
c. sexual development - research suggest that the sexualization of girls has negative consequences on girls' ability to develop a healthy sexual self-image.


There are FIVE areas that need to be addressed if you want to help your daughter with her own unique self-image:

FASHION MAGAZINES:
A University of Minnesota study found that teenage girls who frequently read magazine articles about dieting were more likely five years later to practice extreme weight-loss measures than girls who never read such articles. The study further found that "girls in middle school who read dieting articles were twice as likely five years later to try to lose weight by fasting or smoking cigarettes, compared to girls who never read such articles. They were three times more likely to use measures such as vomiting or taking laxatives." Coauthor of the study, Patricia van den Berg offers this advice to parents: "It possibly would be helpful to teen girls if their mothers didn't have those types of magazines around.

MUSIC:
Growing up, the word slut was whispered under one's breath and used sparingly. If you were labeled a "slut," your reputation was sealed.  Today, the word is commonplace in every teen's vocabulary. Since when did it become a compliment to be called a slut?  How did such a word become so acceptable? When songs call women as "hoes" whose lifelong aspiration is to serve their "pimps" are these songs we should have our children memorizing and singing? These type of songs being played over and over again on the pop radio stations, MP3 players, and at school dances and we wonder why it's become acceptable and even in vogue to be called a "slut"? 

Consider listening to music and reading the lyrics before you let your children listen to them. If a song comes onto the radio and lyrics clearly degrade women, turn it into a teachable moment and then change the station.

TV, MOVIES, AND THE INTERNET:
Block channels from your home like MTV, VH1, HBO and any other like-minded cable channels that are known for their constant objectification of women. A great investment is a DVD player called ClearPlay.  ClearPlay allows you to set the filters you want for any movie they have in their library.  We have yet to find a movie that they don't have. 

Additionally, sit in and listen to the shows your kids are watching on TV to ensure they are appropriate.  Use sites like,  http://www.screenit.com/ is a great site to preview movies your children want to see before they see it.   Also, the Parents Television Council (www.parentstv.org) rates the most popular shows among kids and compiles a "best and worst shows" list based on the content. They also have a fabulous feature where you can select a popular show and read the corresponding review.

I highly recommend that you use filters for your computers and install Web devices to keep your children protected from as much as possible.  As they get older, you will not be able to shield them from 100% of what is out there, but you can lay a foundation now.

FASHION:
Most parents do the shopping for their children's clothes.  Would it surprise you to know that Abercrombie and Fitch has T-Shirts with messages on them like, "Who needs brains when you have these?" or when $1.6 million is spent on thong underwear by girls ages seven to twelve.  Victory Secret now has a line aimed at tween, teen and college girls.  Why would young girls want to be dressing in seductive underwear?  The APA study found that girls are dealing with teen pressures at younger and younger ages.  Many of these girls have no idea that what they wear has an impact on the opposite sex and if they do they don't understand to what extent.  These girls are not able to deal with these issues because their cognitive development is out of rhythm with their social, emotional and sexual development.  We need to allow girls to be girls.

In Shaunti Feldhahn's fabulous book For Young Women Only, she cited the results of a survey where guys were asked questions pertaining to the way girls dress. The study found that when girls dress in such a way as to call attention to their bodies, 85 percent of guys said that they would have a temptation to picture her naked (either then or later). The survey further confirmed that the majority of guys thought she was dressing that way because she wanted them to picture her that way. Her survey of girls found that in reality only less than 4 percent of girls dress in a revealing fashion in an attempt to get guys to fantasize about them.

AIRBRUSHED IMAGES:
As a photographer, I know what photoshop can do and achieve.  (An interesting video showing the production of a model can be seen at: http://suzannesselections.blogspot.com/2010/08/face-of-dove.html). We need to remind our girls that most of these women are not what they appear.  Even if they are altered by photoshop many of these women have also used other means to alter their appearances; from Botox injections, plastic surgery and then there are all the daily skin-care regimes.

We live in a culture obsessed with beauty and vanity and sexual images.  We need to teach our girls to love their skin, their bodies and how they are made, not all these unrealistic images out of media. Protect your daughter from these dangerous worldviews.