In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:16

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Boundaries, Parenting and ADHD

EXCELLENT article that I read today showing that ADHD is not an issue in the country of France like it is here in the US.  What?  ADHD is not a disorder that we are born with?  In America, we treat ADHD with medication because it is a medical issue but in France, they have a SMALL percentage of people who deal with this disorder. Maybe we need to look at other factors that are the real cause of ADHD like diet and good old fashion manners.

My mother was European and many of these principles discussed here were part of my upbringing. The challenge came when the children were introduced to an outside group where "other kids" got to do things differently.  I have seen this in my own children as well.  We raised our children with many of the same "boundaries" mentioned in the article and having so many different people in our lives over the years, we have experienced MANY people who just didn't have "boundaries" for their children.

Example, as I child, children were rarely allowed to sit on the furniture in the living room, even during a party.  IF we were sitting there, nicely and an adult came into the room, we were expected, WITHOUT QUESTION, to get up and give up our chair.  We were allowed to sit on the floor IF we were to be in the room.  NEVER did I see children running in the house, jumping on the couches, helping themselves to and walking around with food.  This was just not allowed at my house or at my aunts and uncles, or my parent's friend's houses.  It was UNHEARD of in my circles.  Boundaries were in place.

Some American parents need some classes to learn parenting skills.  I am stunned when I go to malls, theme parks, fairs, movies and see how children and youth act.  It's because they haven't had parents who did their parenting.  Sometimes children just need to learn self-control and parents are the teachers.

Junk food was also something that was RARE in my home growing up.  I remember 3 times having sodas in the home before the age of 16.  Hot dogs we had maybe once a year.  Chips were for the top of casseroles, not for snacking and as for snacking, we had fruit as a choice.  I don't ever remember my mother buying sugared cereals as we had hot cereal to choose from and possibly some corn flakes or bran cereal.  Again, parents need to parent and not just feed children whatever they want.

Bedtime was another "rule" I grew up with.  I am amazed with how many young parents today let their children stay up until they crash on the floor or where ever for that matter.  Children need to sleep but parents have to require bedtimes.  On rare occasions I get it, but every night?  Kiddos are on social media sites well after midnight on school nights.  UNHEARD of to be up messing around at that time of night in my childhood.  There were boundaries.

There are some kids who are hyper, I get it, it's called being a kid. They may need more love, an extra hug and some structure.  It is tiring to teach children 24 hours a day but the rewards are worth it as they grow up.  Invest in your children when they are young.  Take the time to parent and see what boundaries accomplish.

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