Reflections of Motherhood

As a mother of six children of which the third will be an adult this fall, I have found myself in a state of reflection over my life this summer. I have been married 25 years to the same man, who is my high school sweetheart and my best friend. My children all have the same father and I am blessed to have a good marriage. I state all these statistics because today you rarely find people who can answer yes to all the above statements for themselves. We live in a culture full of change. Even down to our family unit. I knew just a handful of friends growing up who came from divorced families. If there was divorce in the family, people certainly didn't re-marry. I can't recall a single friend who had a step-parent in the home. It just wasn't common.

When I stumbled across this video, Reflections of Motherhood, it made me reflect back to those years, now almost a quarter century ago and I find it hard to believe I am old enough to even use these terms in a sentence, especially a sentence about my life. If I were to add a sign to this video, my sign would say, "Savor the hard moments, it will all be finished before you know it." I know this is SO hard to imagine if you are right now drowning in the sea of dirty diapers and crying toddlers, but really, it all goes by so fast. I think for me, I got so busy with taking care of the daily needs a large family, I didn't notice the clock ticking by. Ten years were just, poof, gone. Not sure how to slow it down when you have so many children, just make sure you take time to hold your babies when you can. They grow up too quickly.
As a child, my mother shared this poem with me that she had gotten from a Senior Citizen home. Mom was the coordinator of the elderly services in the second largest county in the state where we lived. She would often come upon treasures from the seniors and those nuggets she would then pass on and share. In watching this video I was reminded of this poem. I have thought of it MANY times during my years as a mother. I first heard the poem when I was a child, about ten. It has been interesting and sometimes sad to see how my life is hitting these landmarks that the writer shared in her poem. Life is hard at times, I know, but I want to live my life to it's fullest at every stage I am in.

A bit about the poem.  It was found, my mother said, in the room of a psychiatric geriatric patients room.  When searching on the Internet about the poem I found this:  When an old lady died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Dundee, Scotland, it was felt that she had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through her meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Ireland. The old lady's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the North Ireland Association for Mental Health.  Read on:

An Old Lady's Poem

What do you see, nurses, what do you see?

What are you thinking when you're looking at me?

A crabby old woman, not very wise,

Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles her food and makes no reply

When you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try!"

Who seems not to notice the things that you do,

And forever is losing a stocking or shoe.....

Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will,

With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill....

Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?

Then open your eyes, nurse; you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,

As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of ten ...with a father and mother,

Brothers and sisters, who love one another.

A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,

Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet.

A bride soon at twenty -- my heart gives a leap,

Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.

At twenty-five now, I have young of my own,

Who need me to guide and a secure happy home.

A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast,

Bound to each other with ties that should last.

At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,

But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn.

At fifty once more, babies play round my knee,

Again we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead;

I look at the future, I shudder with dread.

For my young are all rearing young of their own,

And I think of the years and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old woman ...and nature is cruel;

'Tis jest to make old age look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart,

There is now a stone where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,

And now and again my battered heart swells.

I remember the joys, I remember the pain,

And I'm loving and living life over again.

I think of the years ....all too few, gone too fast,

And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.

So open your eyes, nurses, open and see,

...Not a crabby old woman; look closer ...see ME!!

*********************

Remember this poem when you next meet an old person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within ...... We will one day be there, too!

So again, my sign would say, "Savor the hard moments, it will all be finished before you know it."