The Death of a Child

Today, I just learned some very tragic news. A little 2 year old boy, Carter, was declared dead by the medical profession at a local children's hospital in my area, after drowning on Saturday night.  They believe he had been in the water for at least 35 minutes and possibly up to 45. He was with some family at a pond when the young child wondered back up the house where he was later found in the pool.

I heard of the event through a text.  It came as a desperate prayer request and I spread the word like fire to all my praying friends to cry out to the Lord for a miracle; that Carter would live on this earth and not go home yet to heaven. 

When we face these hard events in life, usually our minds get flooded with questions; and most of these questions are about where was God and how could a loving God let this happen and so on.  Most people land in the "why" series of questions.  I have ministered to people for many years, as I have walked with God most my life, actively choosing His ways and purposing to follow His blueprint, His outline even when hard things happen.

These hard things in life can shipwreck our walk with the Lord, but I would like to share with you a couple of pieces the Lord has taught me through various people and circumstances to help me hold my footing when the "cares of life" are crashing in on me.  There are two questions found in the book of Acts that I would like to explore with you. Let's start with the back story leading up to it.

In Acts 2, we find the apostles all together, in one place, in the upper room.  They had been "waiting" as Jesus instructed when he left (ascended back up to heaven) just a few days earlier. It says that SUDDENLY, a noise came from heaven and there was a violent, rushing wind and it filled the whole house where they were sitting.  It goes on to say that there appeared to them tongues as a fire (think of a fire pit and how the long blades of fire reach up into the sky) - this was what they saw filling the room.  This "fire" distributed on them, and rested on each one of them.  They were "filled with the Holy Spirit" and they began to speak with in other audible languages as the "Spirit" gave them utterance.

It goes on to say that there were Jews, living in Jerusalem, devout men from every nation under heaven.  When the "sound" occurred, the crowd came together, and they were bewildered because EACH ONE OF THEM was hearing the disciples speaking their languages.  They were amazed and astonished, even saying, how can these Galileans be speaking our languages? In Acts 2:9-11, fifteen languages are referenced being heard.  There was great amazement and perplexity over this event.

Here is where we read the first question, Verse 12 says: ... "what does this mean?  When I find myself in a place of crises, confusion, need, accusation... I ask this question to the Lord, "Father, what is this?" I wait on Him to show me what is really going on. He wants to have fellowship with us.  He loves us!

If we read on, we find that Peter starts to preach telling them these men are not drunk, but this was what was spoken of through the prophet Joel.  He goes into the teaching about the "last days" and how God would pour out His spirit on ALL of mankind.  After Peter finishes sharing from Joel, he goes on to talk about who Jesus had performed miracles and signs yet they nailed Him to a cross and put Him to death.  He goes on to say how God raised Him from the dead and how He is seated at God's right hand. Peter goes on to talk about David and the significance of what Jesus had just done for all of mankind.

When he finished his amazing message, you need to read it: Acts 2:14-36, the people's hearts are pierced and they ask Peter the second question; "what shall we do?"  See, they understand they are in a "situation", and they need the Lord.

We also need to ask this second question when trouble comes, Lord, what shall we do?

This family who has lost their son will have a LOT of questions, they need to cry, sob, mourn, wail, and grieve, BUT they also need to be asking THESE two questions more than any other.  A week ago, they had NO IDEA that they were in the last week of their little boy's life here on earth. We say so many times that we need to "savor the moments" and we think we do, but we are really never ready to say goodbye.  We are just not wired to bury our children. It goes against everything in us.  I personally believe that this is one of the hardest trials we as humans walk through.  I have watched and walked people through many hard things, but the depth of pain a grieving parent has a whole new level of sadness, hardship and even anger and pain.  A very HIGH percentage of marriages fail after walking through this type of storm.

One parent can blame the other for "not watching" the child or for allowing a grandparent or relative or friend watch the child when the accident happened.  Go back to the Garden of Eden; blame was the first response.  It's in our sin nature to do this.  Then we are faced with forgiving and that can be even a larger hurtle to get over. The list can be long of issues, followed by anger and bitterness; all destructive. Satan's sole purpose is to "kill, steal, and to destroy" and he never stops doing that. The death of a child is just the beginning of a very long and hard road and the devil would love to keep on destroying as many people and as much as he can.

Years ago, my husband lost a sister in an auto accident.  She was 8.5 months pregnant and both of them died at the scene.  The pain was so difficult for many people including her husband; he not only lost his wife but his unborn child, his family was taken out.  It was difficult for my husband's parents as they lost a daughter and the unborn grandson and then there were the adult siblings, one of whom was not yet married. Everyone was in a tailspin and if someone wasn't reaching out to you,  holding you up, you were very vulnerable to crashing too.

These siblings from this drowning above will need much comfort and care and honestly, the parents may not have the capacity to help them.  The parents may have days where they may not want to get out of bed as they grieve and so others will need to be there, to help the living children who are also suffering a great loss.

Again, the loss of a child is such a big trial, and we, as the body of Christ need to be near those who grieve, to help shoulder them through their storm.

Today, I am praying for this family and I am praying that the Lord will find them in the middle of this very dark and difficult storm.  Jesus come!